UNKNOWN (2011) Trailer: Spoiler Alert Based Upon Stock Footage

This new Liam Neesen movie looks like Hitchcock came back from the dead, watched The Bourne Identity, and got on the horn with Harvey Weinstein to start shooting ASAP. It promises to be a twisted web of red herrings, blue jays, and yellow submarines. But tragically, the trailer gives away the whole crux of the movie’s denouement.

That’s right, that tea kettle at 2:20.

While you, reader, might see Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with a lead pipe and think “Plumber in an Evening Dress,” I know what’s about go down. So, when I see a three-second shot of a tea kettle on the stove in a movie set in Europe starring a UK actor, I’m thinking “Tea-rrible plot twist.”

Here are some questions and answers for your consideration:

Liam Neesen at the trailer’s opening says he “didn’t sleep.” Why?

A: He drank too much tea.

Liam Neesen drives off the road in his car. Why?

A: Someone spiked his tea.

Liam Neesen can’t get into that reception. What are they drinking?

A: Mysterious tea stains on his shirt.

Liam Neesen comes across the mysterious bartender woman. What will he order?

A: Long Island Iced Tea.

I mean, why else would the makers of this trailer include the tea kettle? Surely not to fill time and make a sound effect. Nor to create an obvious metaphor about tension and pressure. Not for a film with a release date in January!

Tea is definitely going to be the downfall of Liam in this film; here’s hoping he says: “Release the crumpets!”