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In sum, the “Hibbie-Gibbies” is not a valid reason for legislative action.
NBC’s Richard Engel stomps around arid dessert climates squinting, searching, and asking the hard questions. Pretty-boy David Muir loves nothing more than an ABC live-feed of squatting in a disaster area; he often picks up objects and then puts them down with a disbelieving shrug. And CNN’s Anderson Coopper is always in some Banana Republic—not the gay strip club, the socio-economic regime, although…
But why, oh why, must they always wear cargo pants?
What are journalists carrying that necessitates not only a fisherman’s vest full of pockets, but additional cargo pants? This isn’t 1996 when these pockets could have been filled with old tissues, Chapstick, and Koosh balls. Heck, the pockets don’t even look full! After all, filled pockets make for an unflatteringly chubby reporter and Mr. Cooper is nothing if not svelte! So, what then, I ask?
I have no definite answer. Like so many others, I dream of getting into Anderson Cooper’s pants. I assume we’re all on the same page as to the reason why: discovering what is in the pockets.
But I sometimes wonder if the network provides the pants and vest. And when reporters are fired it’s like, “O’Malley! You’re off the Pakistan beat. Turn in your vest and cargo pants.” And then O’Malley, his eyes filled with a mix of shame and anger, removes his khaki cargo pants and olive-hued vest, as Diane Sawyer looks on shaking her head with dismay: O’Malley was four days away from retirement, and now he’s not wearing pants.
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