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When he gave the boy his apples, that’s fine. Apples grow back.
When he gave the boy his branches, that’s fine. The boy needed a home.
But when he gave the boy his trunk, it was for a boat. And recreational boating does not justify sacrifice on that scale.
Don’t come asking me for a kidney because you really want a dune buggy.
JESS enters Ricky’s Party Store in Chelsea, approached salesman.
JESS: Excuse me, sir. Do you sell balloons?
SALESMAN: Uh… we sell, like, bachelorette ballons…
JESS: You mean like…
SALESMAN: Balloons shaped like dicks.
And there you have it, society is not yet equipped for lesbian bachelorette party.
I suppose I can take comfort in the fact that, by its own laws, #YOLO can never be a thing again. #YOLO
Wouldn’t you agree that we may have lost ourselves a bit when we thought it was a good idea to alter a mountain into the likeness of four human faces?
Like, you know when, in a sci-fi movie, they travel to another planet and there are those enormous statues of the leaders and, like, their faces craved into mountains? That’s not aliens. We did that. In the 20’s.
I, for one, find it terrifying.
There must be some deep-seated evolutionary need to share the fact that you are eating food.
In like a “I shall survive this winter and you shall not so mate with me” kinda way.
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